Chinese Etiquette for Dining (End)

"Chopstick" the life savior

There are things you cannot avoid eating, such when the host uses his own chopsticks and puts something on your plate. But if you don't want to touch it, what are you going to do? There are two ways you can try to avoid eating the food.

Let say the host puts the head of a duck into your plate; the first thing you can do is to try to pretend to eat it. Use your chopsticks to eat the stuff around the head, but you really never touch the head on your plate.

When the host sees this, he will just smile and nod. He knows that you have been polite and in his mind the host will thank you, because you are trying to save him face. After that, just ask the waiter to take it away.

The second thing you can try, and I think this is the most effective way, is to blame your doctor. When you don't like something on the table, just take a little bit of it. Then you can say something like "These are delicious but I cannot have too much. My doctor told me to watch my..... (blood pressure or cholesterol)."

Your host always has good intentions. He wants you to try everything while you are there because the host doesn't want you to miss out on anything. So, if the host sees that you've already tried it once, then he will not force you to eat it again if you don't want to.

After you sing a couple of songs and have some nice conversation, the waiter will bring out some dishes of fruit. In Chinese culture, fruit will signal the end of a banquet.

The fruit also has its own symbolic meaning. When the waiter brings out apples it means the host wishes you go in peace, oranges for happiness, pears for prosperity, and peaches for longevity.

The conclusion…

When the banquet concludes, people will start to leave immediately and will not hang around for chit chat. So, if your culture is different, please do not consider this to be rude.

If you are a foreigner, it is best to throw a banquet before you leave. Sorry, I do not have enough information about this. It is better for you to hire a guide or an interpreter, because they will have better connections and understanding to help you.

Remember, when you are the one to throw banquet, you will absorb 100% of the cost. This rule is not for just throwing a banquet but also for everything else. For example, if you are the one to invite the group to a dinner, a drink, or a night in the town, you will be the one to pay for everybody.

For tipping, most of the restaurants will automatically charge 10% on top of your bill. After finishing with the dinner, you can walk away and leave nothing on the table. It is very acceptable, but if you want to leave some extra change then you can.

Am I scaring you, yet? You should not be scared, because a banquet is for getting to know one and another. The majority of Chinese hosts nowadays are very open minded. You don't have to worry about them forcing you to eat anything that you don't want to.

For example, before putting the head of a chicken onto your plate, the host will point to it and look at you and then will only proceed if you nod your head.

I know that you had to put up with lame joke after lame joke but kept on reading. So, if you have a drink in your hand I just want to say, "Thank You" and "Gambei." From where I am, "Have a good night, everybody."

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Raphita Tobing