Chinese Etiquette for Dining (part 3)

Summary

• At the end of every course, the waiter will bring out some small cake or a cup of tea. The reason for cake and tea is help a person to clean out the taste from the last course. The main course of the banquet most of the time is fish.
• A whole fresh fish will use most of the time.
• Before cooking the fish, the waiter/waitress will bring out a live fish for you and your host to exam. Or, if you like, you may walk to a tank full of fish, which locate in the middle restaurant, and pick out a fish from there.
• After finishing the top part of the fish, just simply remove the bone or skeleton and then eat the bottom part. However, by any mean, please, do not flip the fish over after you have finished the top part. Flip the fish over consider being a sign of bad luck.
• Most of meals when the animal is being serving; the head will not be removed. Furthermore, if the head of animal points at someone then that person is the guest of honor.
• If you do not want to eat something, said that you have some restrictions or allergies to some food. In a simpler word, just blame your doctor.
• The fruits signal the end of the banquet and each fruit have a special meaning.
• People will not linger after the banquet, they will leave immediately.
• Before you leave the country, it is best to throw a banquet in return.
• It is best to hire a guide or an interpreter.
• Remember, whoever throw banquet will consume 100 % of the cost. This rule is not for just throw a banquet but also for everything else. Let put it this way, if you are the one invite the group or you are a host, then you will the one to pay for everybody.
• Expect the bill 10% higher because the restaurant usually adds tip to the total bill.

Which dish is good?

Congratulation, you have make it through the middle of the banquet. Hang in there, just a little more to go. Right now, dish after dish, course after course, you may feel that it will never going to end.

Then, you see the waiter/waitress bringing out some cake and tea, you may think this signal the end. Unfortunately, you are wrong. In Chinese culture, cake and tea are use to clean out the taste of the previous course.

For example, if you just had a duck, cake will light the after taste and tea will clean out the oil. Then, the next course will on its way to your table.

It does not matter how many courses are in a banquet, there is always a main course. Majority of the time, the main course will be fish. Or if you do not find fish at your banquet, you may find one these courses to be the main course. Simply, because its' rare and expensive.

• Exotic animal such as monkey's brain, shark, and eel.
• Shark fin, and if shark is too rare, then they may replace it will other rare fish fin.
• Perking duck
• Swallow's nest pudding.
• And other...

What do you mean "live fish"?

Fish is metaphor for good luck and prosperity. Because this is such an essential course in a banquet, the restaurant will serve it differently. There are two ways to pick a fish.

First option, before the fish can be cook, the waiter will put a live fish onto a dish and bring out during the banquet for the host to examine. After the approval of the host and you, the waiter can bring it back to the kitchen.

Another option, the host can pick a fish out of a tank. Most of restaurants have a tank full of fish for the host to pick from. So, once the host have pick "the one" for you and everyone else, the chef will take it out, cook, and bring it to your table.

If you do see a live fish jumping on the dish, do not be alarm. Be calm. When your host asks for your opinion, just nod and smile, and let him take care of the rest.

Also, keep in mind, if the host does not serve you with fish, he can provide you with other exotic animal as well, such as eel. These exotic servings will also be alive when the waiter brings it out to you for the first time.

Getting a "head" in life

Most of the meat courses, the restaurant will not cut off the animal's head. Instead, the restaurant will decorate the head with flowers or fruits. As I mention in other articles, the most important part on your body is your head in Chinese's culture.

You may ask, "What's the head have to do with anything at a banquet?" Let say you walk in to a banquet, and you are not the only guest there. How do you know that you are the guest of honor?

Let take an example, say the main meal is fish. The most certain way to know for sure is look at where the animal's head pointing at on the table. The reason for that is the head will always point at the guest of honor.

If the head of the fish facing at you, you are the guest of honor of the evening. Even though, the head facing at you, it is not necessary that you need to eat it. So, you don't have to force it down if you don't want to.

A simple side note when eating fish. After you and everyone at the table have finish the top part of the fish, please, just remove the bone or skeleton and then proceed eating the bottom part of the fish. However, by any mean, do not flip the fish over after you have finished the top part.

If you accidentally do that, nobody at the table will touch that fish again for the whole evening.

This tradition actually starts with the fisherman. Fishermen will not eat a "flip over fish" because if they do so, they believe sooner or later their ship will flip over and go to the bottom of the sea. I know this is very superstition, but everybody in China takes this seriously. People consider eating "flip over fish" will bring them bad fortune.

"Chopstick" the life savior

There are things you cannot avoid not to eat, such as the stuffs that the host uses his own chopsticks and put it on your plate. But if you don't want to touch it, what are you going to do? There are two ways you can try to avoid eating the food.

Let say the host put the head of a duck into your plate; the first thing you can try is pretend to eat it. Using your chopsticks to eat the stuff around the head, but you really never touch the it on your plate.

When the host sees this, he will just smile and nod. He knows that you have been polite and in his mind the host will thank you, because you are trying to save him face. After that, just ask the waiter to take it away.

The second way you can try, and I think this is the most effective way is blame your doctor. When you don't like something on the table, just take a little bit of it. Then, you can say something like this, "These are delicious but I cannot have too much. My doctor told me to watch my..... (Blood pressure, or cholesterol.)"

Your host always has good attention. He wants you to try everything while you are there, because the host doesn't want you to miss out on anything. So, if the host sees that you already try it once, then he will not force you to eat it again, if you don't want to.

After singing couple of songs, have some nice conversations, the waiter will bring out some dishes of fruits. In Chinese culture, fruits will signal the end of a banquet.

The fruits also have its own symbolic meaning. When the waiter brings out the apples that mean the host wishes you go in peace, oranges for happiness, pears for prosperity, and peaches for longevity.

"Chopstick" the life savior

If you are a foreigner, it is best to throw a fair well banquet before you leave. Sorry, I do not have enough information about this. It is better for you to hire a guide or an interpreter, because they will have better connection and understanding to help you.

Remember, when you are the one to throw banquet, you will consume 100% of the cost. This rule is not for just throw a banquet but also for everything else. For example, if you are the one to invite the group to a dinner, a drink, or a night in the town, you will be the one to pay for everybody.

For tipping, most of the restaurants will automatically charge 10% on top of your ticket. After finish with the dinner, you can walk away and leave nothing on the table. It is very acceptable, but if you want to leave some extra change then you can.

Am I scaring you, yet? You should not be, because banquet is for getting to know one and another. Majority of Chinese hosts nowadays are very open mind. So, you don't have to worry about them force you to eat anything that you don't want to.

For example, before put the head of a chicken onto your plate, the host will point to it and look at you, nonetheless, will only proceed if you nod your head.

I know that you had to put up with lame joke after lame joke, bad grammar after grammar, but still very supportive. So, if you have a drink in your hand, I just want to say, "Thank You" and "Gambei." From where I am, "Have a good night, everybody."

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