Culture in Asia and the Concept of "Losing Face"

Do (Know)

• "Losing face" meaning that ones have lost his dignity, social standing, honor, and trustworthy.
• Traditionally, the most common insult in China is "You have no face."
• Always talk in passive tone and voice. For example, instead of saying "You are wrong," you may try "This is not completely your fault."
• A proper way to ask a person to come over is having your palm face down and moving your fingers with scratching motions. Please, do not point your finger and do a curling motion with your index finger because it is an insult.
• Traditionally, raising a pinky is an obscene gesture in China. Meaning, you have a very small penis.
• If the Chinese people want to point a finger at a person, they with point at the face (nose) area. This gesture is different from the West, which only point at the chest of a person.

Don't

• Chinese people never talk about their problem or family "dirty laundry," which different from the West, where culture courage people to come clean and be proud.
• Try not to start confrontation such as pointing finger, blaming other, or accusing, even when they are totally at fault.

Are you going to hit me?

Face is perhaps the most important concept in Chinese culture. The definition of face in China is your social status, dignity, honor, pride, authority, and even trustworthy. So if you can imagine "Losing face," it is one of the ultimate disgraces.

Yes, there are couples of incidents that people commit suicide, just because they feel they have "lost face." It is important to keep yours and the other person's face at a respective level when speaking to one another.

Traditionally, you can insult a person just by saying "You have no face." Most of the time, when you are in China rarely you ever see a person talking opening about their problems, because at all time you need to protect your face. That is the reason why you will never hear Chinese people talking about their drug addict, sex life, family problem, and abuse in their household.

For example, Kate Tsui, a Hong Kong actress, talks openly about sex during one of her interviews, the public immediately reacts negatively toward her. She actually has to make a public apology.

There is a proverb good for you to know, "A person needs face as a tree in bark." So, when you are in China try not talk negative about yourself, because you will probably not going to receive the reaction that you are looking from. Because of this reason, I do not think Dr. Phil, Jerry, and Oprah Winfrey will be successful in China.

The people in the West are little bit different. Let look at Pamela Andersons. The scandal about her sex tapes did not penalize her career; as matter of fact, it helps her become more popular than before. However, in China, if any actors have something like that next to their names, they will be out of jobs for sure.

Give me honor or give me death...

So, when you watch the Chinese movie, every time when the board is about to be break or hit the floor. There always a person jumps out to catch or protect it. Even, if this means dead.

In business, how do you know when you are losing face, or disgracing somebody else? In normal daily life, it is best not to accuse, blame, or pointing finger at any one even if they completely at fault. If you are in a business place, pull them aside instead of going crazy at them in public (common sense).

And during the conversation, you should put everything in passive voice. For example, instead of "You did it all wrong, what you are doing is incorrect," try "I know this is not your fault, I trust you to come up with something." Again, it is common sense.

Definitely try to avoid confrontation, if it occurs two things could happen. First, the person feels so disgrace that he/she may quit his/her job. Second, because to try to restore ones honor, he or she may try to find a way to low yours.

What are you doing with your hand???

Also, tourists also do not know that they may offend or dishonor the native by just their gesture. The common gesture is hand gesture. Now, let me ask you a question? In the West when you want somebody to come over what would you do?

Probably, the most common thing to do is extended your palm upward and curls your i ndex finger back and forth toward to that person. However, please do not do that while you in China, because you only do that gesture when you call a dog to come over. And yes, many people will find it offensive.

The proper way to get somebody to come over is facing your palm downward and moving the fingers in scratching motion. Pretty simple, right?

Now, everybody knows the concept of the middle finger. Middle finger is the obscene hand gesture for the West, but for Chinese people is the pinky. In China, if a person raises a pinky at you, that means that you have a very very very very very small penis. What you can do is throw him/her a middle finger on one hand and pinky on the other. This will show that you know world culture, and where did you learn it from. At culture-4-travel.com.

Do you like my attempt to promote my own website? Pretty good, right?

When the Chinese people point at somebody, they will point to that person at the face (nose) area. This is cross-culture differences. In the West, if you want to point at somebody, you will only point at the chest and not the face. You will probably get beat up or confrontation if you point someone at their face.

So, for the future, when a Chinese person points a finger at your face, please know that he/she does not mean to disrespect you.

Hopefully, this article explains some cultures and customs that you may run into. Look at the positive side. This article is only 1000 words. Thank you for visiting. From wherever you are, good night and good luck everybody.

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