The Culture of China When Visiting a Home

Do (Know)

• In culture of China, the native rarely invite people to come their house, because the fear of losing face.
• Know that sometimes more than one family living in the same household such as extended family.
• Children, whose are late in their twenty may still live with their parents.
• The average time it takes for people to invite you to their house is about 4 to 5 months.
• Rich or young people sometimes will invite you over their home a little sooner than the average family.
• When you get invite to see a person's home (rick or poor), it is a huge privilege.
• Common home gifts to bring are a bottle of liquor, food, or fruit. It is okay not to wrap.
• Chinese natives always offer drink or food to you as soon as you walk in, do accept all of these things.
• Vice versa, if you are inviting a Chinese family to come over then do try to offer a drink or refreshment, because the Chinese will not ask even if they are thirsty.
• If you are a man, and like to invite some lady friends to come over, then you should try to invite her friends as well when inviting her. The reason of doing this is you try to protect her name as well as protect her from rumor.

Don't

• Don't expect people to invite you to their house, when you know each other briefly.
• Whatever they say, don't leave you shoes on when you walk into the house.
• Chinese people will not open the gift in front of you.
• The Chinese native will not accept the gift from the first offer, but they will take it if you keep insisting it the second or third time.
• Don't expect Chinese people to give you a house tour.
• It is good to give compliment when enter the house, but it is not good when you try give advice on how to make the house better.
• If you are a woman, you should not go alone to the man's house. Always bring a friend to protect you from any wrong idea.

Mi casa es su casa...

Before starting, I would like to ask a question. When traveling to China, how many times did you get invited into a person's home? The answer maybe varies from person to person, but the common reply I expect is rarely. Most of the time over there, you probably visit more restaurants than homes.

In culture of China, people will not invite you to their home until they get to know you. The most common explanation is they do not want to feel ashamed or lose face.

The feeling of losing face is because the person's home may not be what you expected, since most houses are small and cramp. Sometime, there is more than one family living in the same household such as an extended family.

Here is something you may see a little weird. The children in their late twenty will still live at home with their parents. Yes, it is very common and this also includes the boy in the house. This subject, I will leave it for another time.

You may said, "Well, you are wrong, Dat (that's me). I have been invited to couple of homes during the time I was in China." And, I would say that "We'll be right back after these messages." I am just kidding.

Most of the home that you visit may be rich. Rich family will not care of losing face, because they already rich.

Or, your friend could be a young person. Young people are more modernized and little bit more open minded. It is not uncommon, for young people invite each other to their own place and watch a DVD. However, they will more likely refer to go somewhere like an Internet cafe or a pub.

The average time for a Chinese native to invite you to his home could take about 4 to 5 months at the earliest. When you get invite to see a person's home (rick or poor), it is a huge privilege.

The first thing, when you arrive at a person's house, you should away take off your shoes. I saw a lot of Western people make this mistake at this point. When the Chinese person said that you can leave it on, some people just walk right in with their shoes.

Even if they said leave it on, you should insist on taking it off. If you show that much respect, you will go far in Asian culture.

What do you mean gift?

In culture of china, the Chinese native will not accept the first offer, but they will take it if you insist the second or third time.

Common home gift are a bottle of liquor, food, or fruit. In my experiment, you should not wrap the house gift.

The reason is that people will not open the gift in front of you. If you do wrap and it is food, you should tell them what it is.

I know that Westerners have a tradition of giving guests a tour around the house. But this customs does not held in China; do not expect them to give you a tour around the house. Sorry, no MTV Crib. However, if your friend is Westernize or have a nice apartment, they probably will give you a tour.

The first thing people will ask when you just enter the house is what you like to drink or eat. Even if you are not hungry, thirsty, or come to eat, do take on the offer. When accepting these things, that does not mean that you have to eat or finish. Just a little sip of it is still Ok.

Vice versa, if you invite a Chinese family over. You should ask what they like to drink immediately, because they will not ask you for drink even if they are thirsty. They do not want you to feel of losing face.

Story's time...

And, in America if you are thirsty all you have to do is ask for a drink and go to the fridge yourself. Well, she didn't know. The poor girl sat there for an hour with nothing to drink.

Two hour later we went a restaurant, right off the bat she finish 3 drinks (water). The look on her face when she was drinking was priceless.

My American friend thought that is some sort of a custom the Chinese people does before meal. As a good sport, he finished four drinks himself (1 beer and 3 quality H2Os). We had not even started eating yet. Ha, how funny is that.

As you enter the house, do provide a compliment about the person's home. The people will be modest, just tell another compliment if they do so. However, do not give an advice on how to make the house look better. In an extreme case, the Chinese people may consider this to be an insult.

In China, sexuality freedom is stricter than in the West. When a single man invites a woman to his house, this act is consider as sexually forward if your accept the invitation. In another word, if you are a woman, when get invite to a bachelor pad, and you are just friend.

Never go alone if you don't want anything sexual attention, you should invite a friend to come along with you as well. This will protect you from any wrong idea.

Please, do consider this very seriously, if you are a Western woman. There are a lot of stereotypes of Western women are being easy. If you want somebody to blame on, you should blame the TV.

If you are a man, who would like to invite some lady friends to come over, then when inviting her, you should try to invite her friend as well. The reason of doing this is you try to protect her name as well as to protect her for rumor.

Thank you for stopping by. I did not think is going to be this long. I just want to say.

Come on, let's sing along, everybody. From where I am and wherever you are, have a warm holiday and good luck. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to contact me.

<<< Return to China Communication and Manner

Recommended Articles

• Business in China (Part 1)
• Body Language
• What's New