The Concept of Losing Face in China

Do (know)
  • Losing face" means that one has lost his dignity, social standing, honor, and trustworthiness.
  • Traditionally, the most common insult in China is "You have no face."
  • Always use a passive tone and voice. For example, instead of saying "You are wrong," you may try "This is not completely your fault."
  • A proper way to ask a person to come over is to have your palm face down and moving your fingers with scratching motions. Please, do not point your finger and do a curling motion with your index finger because it is an insult.
  • Traditionally, raising a pinky is an obscene gesture in China. Meaning, you have a very small penis.
  • If the Chinese people want to point a finger at a person, they will point at the face or nose area. This gesture is different from the West, where it is common to point at the chest of a person.
Don't
  • Chinese people never talk about their problems or their family's "dirty laundry." This is different from the West, where culture encourages people to come clean and be proud.
  • Try not to start confrontations by pointing your finger, blaming others, or making accusations, even when another person is totally at fault.
Are you going to hit me?

Face is perhaps the most important concept in Chinese culture. The definition of face in China is your social status, dignity, honor, pride, authority, and even trustworthiness. So as you can imagine, "Losing Face" is one of the ultimate disgraces.

Yes, there are incidents where people commit suicide because they feel they have lost face. It is important to keep yours and other people's face at a respective level when speaking to one another.

China saving face

Traditionally, you can insult a person just by saying "You have no face." Most of the time in China you will rarely you see a person talking opening about their problems because at all times you need to protect your face. That is the reason why you will never hear Chinese people talking about their drug addiction, sex life, family problems, and abuse in their household.

For example, Kate Tsui, a Hong Kong actress, talked openly about sex during one of her interviews. The public immediately reacted negatively towards her. She actually had to make a public apology.

There is a proverb that is good for you to know, "A person needs face as a tree needs its bark." So, when you are in China avoid talking negatively about yourself because you will probably not going to receive the reaction that you are looking for. For this reason, I do not think that Dr. Phil, Jerry, and Oprah Winfrey will be successful in China.

People in the West are a little bit different. Let's look at Pamela Anderson. The scandal about her sex tapes did not penalize her career. As a matter of fact it helped her become more popular than before. In China, if actors have something like that associated with their name, they will be out of jobs for sure.

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Raphita Tobing